If Forgetting You is the Only Way to Mend My Heart, I Would Rather Stay Broken

Original Artwork By Marielle Lanto

Do you know what’s my biggest fear? I am afraid that one day if we break up, you’ll completely forget about me. I am afraid that while you’re savoring your freedom from our relationship, I will still hang onto the memories we shared together. I am afraid that if we accidentally meet again in the streets, you’ll casually pass by and act like I don’t exist. I am afraid that when every time the night falls, my eyes will long to see your good night smile. I am afraid that even if we have already breached our end-game, my tears will still convince you to come back home. That’s my biggest fear. I am frightened of the day I will force myself to forget you. 

If forgetting someone is the measure of strength, I will proudly admit I am the weakest. Dare me to be in this game with you, I will immediately raise my flag and concede. I know it will take me forever before I can finally get over you. You’ve been my whole world for a long time so moving on is something I can’t afford instantly. I’m sure that everything I see around will always remind me of you. I don’t want to lose you because I know I will never forget you, no matter how hard I try.

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You’ve taught my heart how to love you more than myself, so make-believing that there’s still hope for us is just a piece of cake for me, even if it tears me apart each time you ignore my messages and turn down my attempts to reconcile. I would rather wish upon the stars every night and wonder if tomorrow you’d consider returning in my arms than perseveringly forget you and move forward. What’s the sense of carrying on if the only reason why I endure is now gone? 

That’s why; I’m fervently praying to God that this unfortunate event won’t hit our relationship. And I want to thank you for reassuring me every day that there’s nothing I need to be afraid of. It’s enough for me to stay calm and just live life with you to the full extent.

(Marielle loves to express herself in different forms of art. She can act, sing, write, but she becomes more herself when she paints. Check out her masterpieces here.)